Someone, please make it stop. Modern English is advertising for Ritz Crackers (I'll stop the world and melt with you . . .) INXS is playing (w/out Michael Hutchence -- remember he died from unfortunate sex asphyxiation???) in lame suburban fields like those in Leesburg, VA. Madonna has a fake English accent. And now Billie Ray Cyrus (didn't he die of obscurity???) is dogging me b/c it turns out his daughter (someone slept with him?) is Hannah Montana -- the hottest thing for the Tween and under crowd on the Disney Channel. My seven year old is desperate for Hannah Montana tix at the Verizon Center. Reality Check: each ticket costs more than one bottle of Thinny Thin Chin cream.
Lord Help me. I have Back Fat. Saggy jowls. And must forgo chin cream so my nearest and dearest can watch the spawn of Billie Ray Cyrus lipsinc.
Alcohol Units Needed: 4
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