Thinny Thin Chin

Thinny Thin Chin has been ordered. It will probably be about as effective as those cellulite creams I keep buying, but if it makes me feel better it is cheaper than therapy, so what the hell. I shall fight the good fight against wattle. If you had seen photos of my grandmother (Zzzt -- sound of lightening zapping me) you would know this is going to be the mother of all battles (along with the everlasting battle against unwanted facial hair, which I simply cannot bear to discuss).

Okay, two years to turn this train around. No more excuses.

I will exercise regularly.

I will eat more vegetables.

I will drink less wine.

I will be less judgmental of others.

I will finish the last four chapters of my book that I have been trying to edit for the last three years (ouch!).

I will teach my children to tie their own shoes.

I will learn to stop holding grudges.

I will forgive my mother for my awful childhood.

I will wear age appropriate clothing.

I will learn to be patient with those who are clearly stupid.

I will be grateful.

I will stop swearing at people when I drive.

I will stop being vane.

Hmmm, this is depressing. It sounds like I am going to have to become a different person.

I need a drink.