Can someone please host one for me? I spent the weekend in a bikini sucking my gut in while trying to hold my chin up so my neck wouldn't sag. I think all I managed to do was look stuck up. Either that or angry. I actually had someone ask me if I was mad at them.
Tomorrow is D-Day for 37, the countdown clock is racing toward 40. Why did I ever turn that thing on? I feel like I am careening towards death or something. I guess I could delete the HTML code and stop the clock in its tracks. But the he real problem is not my countdown clock -- it is that I can't turn off my brain. And my brain has really run amok. Every time I see another woman remotely my age this horrible voice inside my head asks Is she thinner than I am? Is she older than I am? Do I look that old?
I spent Saturday morning contorting my neck in the mirror to see whether or not I have any ear wrinkles. Ear wrinkles -- that telltale little vertical wrinkle/fold in front of the ear -- is my Rosetta Stone of aging. So far I think I'm fine on the ear wrinkles, but my face seems to be sliding downward and I have a squashy pad under my chin. I am terrified of a face lift but I can't bear the thought of a double chin.
Even worse than the shame of my rapacious vanity is this horrible feeling that perhaps I really don't have too much to show for myself for all these years. Am I interesting? Would I want to talk to me at a party? Would I want to be married to me? My husband is married to his job, I am married to our kids. I spend most of my time running monotonous errands, fixing broking things, driving around in circles (school run, soccer, etc) and making macaroni and cheese. I used to travel and write. I used to cook grown up food. I used to have friends of my own. I need a plan to turn things around, but I don't have time to come up with one.
It's time to do the school run.
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